there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize