She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
