she kept yelling 'call me bella'
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
