Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize