Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
