So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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