You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
