What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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