We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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