I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
