dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
