Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
