You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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