he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize