when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
