Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
