Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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