are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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