I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
