How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
