happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
