I like to think it a success when the cops are called
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
