I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
