that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
