the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
