Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
