oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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