i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
