Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
