He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
