im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
