Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
