I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize