I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
