At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
