You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
