Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize