we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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