you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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