Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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