Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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