blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
