there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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