I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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