Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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