Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize