dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
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