she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
