Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
