Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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