i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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