Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
