We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
