What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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