Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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