Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
