dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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