bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
