K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
